Reframing How I Think About Goals

At the end of each of the last three years, I have written myself letters which discuss what I've learned over the previous year and the areas where I'd like to grow and develop. I would read the letters prior to the start of writing the following year's letter and reflect on how to create my goals and action plan. In this article, I will be sharing my process of reframing how I will be setting my goals going forward.  I intend to be more intentional where I will dedicate my time, effort, and other resources.

In the past, I established many milestones believing that if I reached them, I would find a certain level of happiness, peace, and satisfaction.  By taking this approach in setting goals, I either achieved my goals or I didn't (it was binary, black or white).  While growing up, I was expected to achieve excellence in academics, sports, music, and work.  I adopted the mentality that perfection at all costs was what was required to achieve excellence in all of these areas.  However, despite achieving what I set out to do, I was left feeling a sense of loneliness, despair, and complete lack of direction. 

I had not been deliberate in asking myself what I truly valued and didn't have the confidence to search for those answers.  In other words, I need to reorient my map in the correct direction before taking the first step to achieving the goals I find most meaningful.  In this new approach, I will be attempting to identify the most important areas of life and creating process driven goals rather than destination goals.  By focusing on the areas of life I most enjoy, I believe I can create a life where achieving my goals become the byproducts on what I love.   

The Wheel of Life - from Inner Path Seekers

Physical and Mental Health - Current-6/Goal-9

2023 was a challenging year from a mental health perspective; I had a breakup, filed a lawsuit (still on-going), and lost my father and aunt.  I experienced varying levels of sadness, grief, heartbreak, guilt, and loneliness that I couldn't properly communicate or process at the time.  While my life seemed to unravel, I became aware that I lacked the tools and strategies to cope with these emotions.  When I was hitting rock-bottom, I started to seek support from select friends and family and started becoming more comfortable being open with my feelings and emotions.  It seemed very foreign to me; however, as I became more comfortable with being vulnerable, some of the heavy burden of these feelings lifted off my shoulders.  

Since COVID started, my physical health seemed to stagnate.  My final competitive racing event was Ironman Korea in 2019, and that ended up being cancelled due to severe weather conditions.  I haven't competed in any type of running, triathlon or cycling event since, which is something I have always enjoyed.  I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis in early 2019 and have been able to manage the symptoms, so I feel ready to test my mind and body in competition again.   

Objective - I will be over-indexing on my physical and mental health, because these are the foundation to all of the other aspects of my life.  I realized that at every point when I neglected these areas, I became a less attentive friend and partner, lacked motivation and drive, expressed more negative emotions and simply wasn't the most pleasant person to be around. 

Action Items - Mental and Physical 

• Mental - Continue journaling to practice expressing my feelings.  

• Mental - Seek mentorship from those I trust and that demonstrate a high level of vulnerability 

• Physical - Complete Ironman Penticton in under ten hours, qualify for the Boston (three hours and five minutes) and New York (two hours and fifty five minutes) Marathons, and run a personal best marathon of sub two hours and forty minutes.  

I recently had lunch with a friend who told me about the "Wheel of Life", (see diagram above) a tool that can be used to create a well balanced life.  By assessing each of the eight areas (on a scale of one to ten) from the perspective of present day, I can then determine the areas which require more attention and dedication of my limited time, effort, and energy.   Completing this exercise will provided me with more clarity on what I find is important and impactful and will hopefully lead to a more fulfilling and engaging life.

I filled in the Wheel of Life above which highlights my priorities in 2023 (red) versus my goals for 2024 (blue).  Below, I discuss how I feel about where I allocated my resources in 2023, the direction I will be heading in 2024 and the action items I will implement to achieve my desired goals. 

Fun & Recreation - Current 5/Goal-9

I had the privilege of travelling through Europe for two months and going on a five day motorcycle trip.  I also spent a significant portion of the year in California helping my family, so I didn't fully enjoy the many outdoor activities I regularly participate in Vancouver.  

Objective - I intend on staying most of the year in Vancouver to train for my various races throughout the year.  I also signed up for a number of new activities, such as a pickleball league and yoga classes.  In the summer, I'll be spending more time paddle boarding, hiking, cycling and running.  

Actions Items: 

• Join a Pickleball League

• Join a weekly yoga class 

• Rejoin the Fraser St. Run Club for Track Tuesdays 

• Rejoin the TSJ triathlon group for training sessions 

Family and Friends - Current-7/Goal-9

My family is a very important as aspect of my life, and I dedicated a significant part of 2023 to helping my family through my father's aggressive dementia diagnosis.  I split most of my year between California and Vancouver, and I feel in ways it brought me closer to my family but at the same time caused fractures in certain relationships.  Since my father passed, I realized that the immediate need for me to be present physically in California is no longer required, so I can refocus on my friendships which had been neglected while I was away.  During the challenges I faced this year, I had certain friends who I leaned on and I saw the importance of balancing friendships and family commitments. 

Objective - I will rebalance my commitment between my existing friends while trying to make new friends that share similar hobbies and goals.  I will also be spending more time with my nephews and niece this year.  

Action Items:

• Plan annual camping trip with my nephews and niece 

• Plan an individual activity with each nephew and niece

• Meet up with friends on a regular basis 

• Start new hobbies (i.e. woodworking, ceramics, bouldering) to meet new friends

Spiritual and Personal Growth - Current-6/Goal-8

I wouldn't consider myself an overly spiritual person; however, I have found that there have been moments where I turned to faith as a way to get through challenging situations.  Attending formal mass or services didn't fully resonate with me; however, I have tried to integrate meditation into my life.  I still struggle with being able to calm my mind and make space for just "being".  This has all been part of my personal growth journey which has led me to various books, resources, podcasts, and people who have shed light on ways to grow spiritually, physically, emotionally, and intellectually.  

I continue to take my "little brother" from the Big Brothers Vancouver Program on outings which has been a positive experience for the both of us.  I also had the opportunity to volunteer as a mentor with the Junior Achievement of BC's (JABC) "Be Entrepreneurial" Program, where I shared my entrepreneurial story with a class of tenth grade students and taught a six-week entrepreneurial course. 

Objective - Personal growth has been a large driver in the activities that I enjoy.  Although I struggle with self-doubt and imposter syndrome, I try to actively learn and grow to overcome these negative loops.  My goal is to focus on the growth journey and ignore the thoughts which I have about not being enough or not being an expert.  I want to learn/absorb and implement as much as I can this year while sharing my knowledge and skills with the community through volunteering.  

Action Items: 

• Continue surrounding myself with people who challenge themselves and have a growth mindset 

• Integrate daily meditation into my daily routine 

• Read one book a week on various topics of interest

• Listen to three podcasts a week on various topics of interest

• Share my growth journey on my blog by posting at least one article a week

• Synthesize and share information I learn on my YouTube channel by posting one video a week. 

• Find new opportunities to volunteer in the community 

Romantic Relationships - Current-4/Goal-7

My most recent relationship ended in June 2023, and I realized that I have work to do on my emotional intelligence and communication.  It was a stressful year, and I don't believe I had the emotional bandwidth to be supportive and understanding of my partner's needs.  I wasn't able to properly communicate my boundaries and establish healthy communication lines which would allow us to work through conflict and show the compassion and understanding my girlfriend needed to feel loved.

Objective - Although I don't have children, the quote "Be the man you want your son(s) to become and the man you want your daughter(s) to marry" resonated with me, because I need to continue developing these qualities.  I have three nephews and niece that I'm very close with, and when I reframe this quote, it makes me want to become a better role-model for each of them.  Rather than focusing on dating apps and trying to meet someone with the intention of finding a partner, I will dedicate my time to becoming a better version of myself emotionally, physically, and intellectually.  

Action Items:

• Integrate the communication techniques that I have learned through reading and listening to podcasts to my everyday relationships

• Develop a better understanding of my boundaries and learn to communicate my needs in my family and friend relationships 

• Utilize active listening skills to better understand the needs of those around me 

• Learn to be patient and have more leniency when friends or family appear to have wronged me 

Career - Current 9/Goal 4

My contractual obligations with Moonshot ended in June 2023.  Up until that point, I had focused primarily on my career and had neglected other important areas of my life (i.e. relationships, personal growth, physical and mental health).  The lack of balance between my career aspirations and other priorities threw my life into a disarray the last few years, and I am rebalancing my priorities and aspirations.   

Objective - Since July, I have not been focusing on finding a new "career", so I can explore new interests and hobbies.  Without any immediate pressure to focus on a specific career path, I will allow myself to organically discover a potential business idea or venture aligned with my interests and passions.  I previously held myself back from partaking in certain interests due to various reasons, but I will approach decisions based on whether I will be growing from the experience. Regardless of the expense or time commitment, my goal is to simply be a sponge and absorb as many new perspectives, knowledge, or experiences to develop my mind and/or body.

Action Items:

• Complete minimum of fifteen minutes of Duolingo Mandarin  and Spanish classes each day

• Complete my Run Coaching Certification (Road Runners Club of America) 

• Sign up for a woodworking class

• Sign up for a ceramics course

Physical Environment - Current 6/Goal 8

I spent much of 2023 outside of Vancouver, so I didn't really have an opportunity to get into a rhythm to be productive.  Previously, I did not pay much attention to the state of my physical environment, because I thought I should be able to just get into my flow state wherever I am.  However, I have noticed that my attention span and level of productivity decreases significantly if I am distracted or I am disorganized. 

Objective -  I spend most of my time either outdoors, in my gym or at home, so I will make each of these environments more conducive to flow and productivity.

Action Items: 

• Renovate my gym to be brighter and be more suitable for my workouts 

• Spend more time outside being disconnected

• Redesign my home office to offer a more comfortable working space 

Finances - Current 9/Goal 5

I spent much of my adult life pursuing financial freedom.   I grew up very modestly, so I always strived for a life without financial constraints.  I pursued careers for the financial payoff rather than focusing on what I enjoyed in hopes the sacrifices would lead to better outcomes.  By no means am I wealthy, but after I sold my company, I've realized financial freedom is a mindset. 

The amount of financial currency I accumulate only holds value if I utilize the time it buys me to grow and learn in other aspects of life.  By having a certain level of "financial freedom" which covers my basic needs, I am able to focus primarily on utilizing time as the currency to acquire new knowledge, have new experiences, and obtain new perspectives on life.  

Objective - Instead of focusing on acquiring additional wealth, I am pivoting my attention to utilizing my current financial freedom (i.e. time) to learn more about my current interests and expand my knowledge (see "Career Action Items" above). 

Summary

I don't have everything figured out, but I feel the "Wheel of Life" approach helped me approach goal setting in a more wholistic way.  Rather than seeing each of these elements of my life as independent of one another, I saw how each category related to one another.  I will try to reassess my progress on my goals half-way throughout the year and again at the end of 2024. 

If you found any value from this post or would like to share your process on setting goals, I'd love to hear from you!  Send me a note in the contact page.  

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